‘Horton’ and Seuss,
now here’s a film
that can’t lose

Robyn’s Hood
By Robyn McCloskey

On the fourteenth of March at the start of the day
A movie did open in a really big way
And as it played on and on through the still of the night
The box-office numbers were blown way out of sight
A Dr. Seuss book, a sweet little gem
About the people of Whoville and their pachyderm friend
Surprisingly though, there was one little blight
But of this do not worry, of this do not fright
You see this good movie was not typical fare
For the ratings board pronounced it mild, no need to beware
’Twas not rated R or even PG-13
No PG rating,
No R or P to be seen
What’s this, cried the parents? A "G"-rated theme!
This rarely does happen, for what can it mean?
No heads chopping off, no almost nude scene
No knives in the hearts of the villains onscreen
A film I can take the whole family to see
Without blood, without guts, without words that blush me
We’ll pay our good money, the parents did shout
To go see a movie that is all about
An interesting cadre of friends on the make
Who want only to give and not merely to take
Sure there’s some bad guys
But good wins in the end
Because Horton did listen to his quiet new friend
When the small Mayor of Whoville needed some help
The townspeople and Horton did let out a Yelp
And the parents of America did not only listen
But opened their wallets and fulfilled a great mission
We’ll show them they said, those people in charge
The fat cats of Hollywood who all live so large
We want wholesome movies where there is no shame
No buildings blown up, no people to maim
Ones we can watch and not have to aim
To answer the questions of those all around
In so many movies why must violence abound?
Why do women show boobs and men other parts
As we yell "Kids close your eyes!" when the naughty stuff starts
How about a clean film with family friendly fare
A show we can see where no one would dare
Take off their clothes or brandish a gun
Whatever happened to just good clean fun?
A film with Jim Carrey where he’s not over the top?
He plays it sublimely, as if just a prop
None of his usual antics, no talking behind
Just reciting the script for those who will find
His talents do lie beyond all compare
When he reins in his ways for the good of the Mayor
And the voice of the Mayor, it is played to perfection
Steve Carell heads the town in need of protection
And Carol Burnett as the lone mean Kangaroo
Is really just looking for something to do
What she desires is the ear of someone who cares
And when it finally appears she just crumbles and stares
At the people who love her, no matter her heart
And when you think about that it’s not a bad start
So this big little movie of hearing and believing
Of working together and shouting and cheering
Without any nudity or violent descent
Hopefully Hollywood sees that’s why we all went
Stop making movies that just make us squirm
Please keep making those movies from which we can learn
Producers, directors sit up and take note
Of our small, pleading voices that may seem so remote
Those of us willing to spend hard-earned cash
On movies of quality, you can throw out the trash
Big bucks on opening weekend this movie did bring
And instead of a "who" Horton now hears ca-ching
Let’s hope this dear movie leads to similar shows
And that more movie lovers will find reason to go
Enjoying a fun film without any "ick"
Showing good things to our kids "through thin and through thick!"
The lessons they learn will help them stand tall
A person’s a person no matter how small!
Robyn McCloskey’s column appears each week in the Northeast Times. She can be reached at crmccloskey@verizon.net