Homeland security
for military families

By Diane Prokop
Times Staff Writer

With baby Grace on her hip, Christine Tolbert led the 128th Chemical Company’s Family Readiness Group meeting at the National Guard Armory on Southampton Road last week.
An FRG provides mutual support, assistance and a chain of communication among soldiers’ family members, the military and the community. They also plan such activities as an upcoming Valentine’s Day party, a flea market and bike-a-thon.
Thirty-five members of the 128th were sent to Iraq in July and are providing security in Baghdad and, about 50 miles to the north, Balad. The unit also joined up with other Pennsylvania National Guard units for this particular mission.
For FRG members, handling the home front is more than a motto for the group. It’s their life.
While her husband, Sgt. Jason Shensky, is in Iraq, Nicole Shensky has her hands full taking care of her Parkwood home and the couple’s four children — Alena, 13, Alyssa, 9, Olivia, 3, and James, 2.
"In the beginning, things were rough," Shensky said, but she noted that getting to talk to her husband almost every day is a big help.
The stay-at-home mom is active in the FRG and serves as its donations coordinator.
"It’s nice to come and share with people who are going through the same stuff," Shensky said.
Since taking care of the house falls on her shoulders now, she also learned how to hang a ceiling fan but had a little trouble installing blinds.
"I drilled myself and had to get stitches," she explained.
Shensky’s older daughters joined their mom at the FRG meeting and hung out with other kids in an adjacent room.
"We cry a lot," Alyssa said, explaining how she misses her dad.
The youngsters said it can be tough when they go to church and offer prayers for the safety of military personnel fighting for their country. They also sing to the pictures of their beloved soldiers.
Alena and Alyssa hope to bring their dad to St. Anselm’s School when he returns home on leave. They hope he can show other students in their gym classes some maneuvers (exercises).
For stateside families like the Shenskys, the Internet is a saving grace that helps them stay connected to loved ones in the military.
Kris Ewing’s daughter, Spc. Shannon Ewing, 23, is in Balad. Being able to communicate with her daughter has made all the difference for the Warminster mom, whose daughter has seen combat, and even been shot at.
"If I couldn’t see her, couldn’t talk to her . . ." Ewing said, her thought trailing off.
Some members of the group talked about upcoming leave for their husbands, sons and daughters, while another said she was afraid to jinx it. Once they arrive in Philadelphia, the citizen soldiers have 15 days of rest and family time.
"Every group has been delayed three or four days," Tolbert told them.
The Ewing family’s red, white and blue Christmas decorations are staying up until Shannon comes home on leave. Nobody’s allowed to eat at their new dining-room table until then, either.
Sheila Tindall, of Tabernacle, N.J., can relate to Kris Ewing and her eagerness to see her daughter. Tindall’s daughter, Cristine Lydon, 27, is a squad leader in Balad.
However, Tindall’s membership and support of the FRG are more about giving than receiving. It’s fulfilling her daughter’s request.
"She really, really wanted me to join. She was always concerned for her squad. I’m so, so proud of her," Tindall said.
About 12 women attended the FRG meeting at the armory last week. Joe Walton, who accompanied his wife, Betty Anne, was the only man. Their son, Spc. Joe Walton, is with the 128th.
"All we know is he’s in Baghdad," Betty Anne said, adding that their son told them it recently snowed there for the first time in 83 years.
"We thank God for e-mail," she said. "Back in Vietnam, if you didn’t get a letter, you didn’t hear anything."
Tolbert, the FRG leader, didn’t have to worry about a letter, e-mail or phone call last week. Her husband arrived home with time to spare and celebrated their daughter’s first birthday on Jan. 30.
"She was so excited. At first she was like, ‘Hmmm, I know him from somewhere,’ and held up her arms," Tolbert said.
The Jeffersonville, Pa., resident can relate to concerns she hears from a lot of stateside spouses.
"A lot of it is child-care stuff. The National Association of Child Care Resource and Referral Agencies provides a subsidy program. We use that," said Tolbert, who works from home as a Realtor while attending a master’s program at Cabrini College.
Regardless of how people feel about the war, everyone wants their soldiers home safe.
"Whether or not you agree with the whole concept of the war, it doesn’t matter. The idea is not to support the war but to support the soldiers," Tolbert said. "Our job is to handle the home front."
This past week, Nicole Shensky was able to forget about the demands of the home front, at least for a little while. She’d received the best surprise of all . . . her husband Jason arrived here on leave from Iraq, and on Wednesday he walked through the front door of their Parkwood home. ••
Reporter Diane Prokop can be reached at 215-354-3036 or dprokop@phillynews.com