Editorial for Decmber 20, 2007 edition:


Dear Santa

With much of the weary world ready to rejoice on the anniversary of the birth of Jesus Christ next Tuesday, now is a great time to speculate on what the area’s movers and shakers are asking Santa this year.
City Councilwoman Joan Krajewski: I want you to give me my $300,000 retire-for-one-day pension a few weeks early, dearest Santa, before my conscience gets the best of me and I realize that taking the cash without staying retired is sticking it to the taxpayers.
City Councilman and true friend of animals Jack Kelly: I want no dog left behind in the human race.
Mayor-elect Michael Nutter: I want muzzles on every member of the American Civil Liberties Union so I can institute my stop-and-frisk policy without any undue delay.
Defeated Republican mayoral candidate Al Taubenberger: I would really appreciate an offer to serve as city commerce director in the Nutter administration.
Opponents of the planned expansion of the Fox Chase Cancer Center: We want an instant cure for cancer, which would render the cancer center obsolete, thereby giving us the moral authority to oppose its expansion.
Soon-to-be ex-Mayor John Street: I want a deluxe spot in the professors’ parking lot at Temple University.
Thomas Milton Street: I want a deluxe spot near my little brother’s car so I can set up an illegal hot dog stand.
Channel 3 news anchor Alycia Lane: I want an invitation to pop out of a giant cake wearing my favorite bikini at the next convention of the New York City Fraternal Order of Police.
The Philadelphia Eagles: Um, oh, never mind, Santa. Even a superhuman like you can’t make us champions. ••

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