A soldier’s wife mourns

By Diane Prokop
Times Staff Writer

Shirley Chitjian’s mother always told her that for every Adam there’s an Eve, for every Eve there’s an Adam, and that one day she would find her Adam.
And she did.
"For three and a half years, it was the best time of my life," Shirley Chitjian said.
Her husband, Army Cpl. Adam Chitjian, was killed in action on Oct. 25 when he came under attack by insurgents and small-weapons fire in Balad, Iraq, about 50 miles north of Baghdad.
Ironically, it was on that date just three years earlier that Shirley first laid eyes on her Adam.
The two had met online in early 2004, during Chitjian’s first tour in Iraq. He was on guard duty, with shifts broken into odd stretches for Chitjian and his fellow soldiers assigned to the 3rd Battalion, 8th Cavalry Regiment, 3rd Brigade Combat Team, 1st Cavalry Division, based at Fort Hood, Texas. The soldiers had lots of downtime, Shirley explained.
Adam Chitjian, who grew up in Somerton and graduated from George Washington High School, was a commercial painter who joined the military after the 9/11 terrorist attacks.
Chitjian, 39 when he died, was older than many of his fellow soldiers, who took to calling him "Pappy." His path crossed Shirley’s when he saw the younger guys in his unit checking out girls online at a Web site called www.hotornot.com. Chitjian’s attention was grabbed by the photo of his future wife. The other soldiers set up a profile for him, posting what Shirley Chitjian called his "warrior photo," and he clicked on a link to meet her.
"The funny part is that I had been on other Web sites like match.com. I was getting really sick of the same weirdos," she recalled by phone from Texas last week. "The day I was removing my profile, I got his message. It was the next to the last one. I saw he was a soldier, and something struck me about him when I saw his picture. He made me mad, though, that he had sunglasses on and I couldn’t see his eyes. He sent me a beautiful e-mail. That’s how we met."
Instead of heading home to Philadelphia when on R&R that fall, Chitjian went to Fort Worth, Texas, to meet Shirley.
"From that moment, we never missed a beat, never had an awkward moment," she said. "We just had that instant connection."
In April 2005, he brought her home to meet his family and show her his favorite spots in the City of Brotherly Love, including Criniti Ristorante Italiano in South Philly and New England Pizza in the Northeast for the best cheesesteaks. She also got to meet his great-grandmother, who was 94 at the time but has since passed away.
"It was a very special time," Shirley Chitjian said.
The couple married on June 25, 2005, in a beautiful ceremony held outside the Botanical Gardens in Fort Worth.
Her husband was re-deployed to Iraq in October 2006 for what Shirley thought would be a year. However, with the government extending service assignments to maintain troop levels, Adam Chitjian’s tour was extended to the end of this month.
"If he hadn’t been extended . . ." his wife said.
Wearing a yellow ribbon with "Adam" written on it, Shirley Chitjian demonstrated remarkable strength as she greeted her husband’s family and friends during services at a Somerton funeral home two weeks ago.
Cpl. Chitjian’s widow shared her husband’s last words to her the day before he died: "I love you, baby, and I’ll try to call you tomorrow."
Her husband also knew quite well her strength.
"Adam also used to tell me — it used to annoy me — that one of the things he loved was my strength. I told him that sometimes I don’t want to be strong. He said that I didn’t have to be as long as he was around," she said.
Shirley Chitjian was overwhelmed by the outpouring of love and respect for her husband during services at the L.A. DiGiacomo Funeral Home on Southampton Road. The soldier also was memorialized by his unit on Oct. 31 in Iraq, and he was to have been remembered on Thursday at Fort Hood during a monthly observance held by the 1st Cavalry to pay tribute to soldiers who have died.
At the DiGiacomo Funeral Home, with Brigadier Gen. Thomas Cole by her side, Shirley Chitjian thanked members of the local Patriot Guard Riders, a national organization of motorcycle aficionados who attend services as a show of gratitude to soldiers who have given their lives.
Members of the organization also escorted the hearse that carried Chitjian’s body to the mortuary for cremation.
"I wanted to make sure they knew how important it was to me and Adam," Shirley said, referring to the Patriot Guard Riders. "He had a Harley rider."
It also was comforting for her to hear friends and family relate stories and special recollections about her husband, she said.
"I was overwhelmed and very proud — proud that he was my husband and that they had wonderful memories," she added. "As long as you remember him, he’s never gone. I told his friend Mike Jacoby, ‘You never get over it, you only have to get through it.’"
Shirley Chitjian also was touched by the kindness and respect of personnel with American Airlines during her flight home to Texas with her husband’s ashes.
"The captain made everyone stay in their seats until we got off, and he and the flight attendant saluted Adam," she said, noting that both were retired members of the military.
Back home in Texas, Adam’s little dog Rocco is missing him quite a bit, Shirley said. The couple had planned to move forward with their lives when Adam returned home from Iraq.
Though she’s not sure exactly how, Shirley Chitjian still intends to move forward. There is little choice.
"He is and will always be the best thing that ever happened to me. He was generous of heart, had a great soul and a great spirit," Shirley said. "All the days of my life, whether it’s one day or a hundred days, I’ll do him right." ••
Reporter Diane Prokop can be reached at 215-354-3036 or dprokop@phillynews.com