Sweet talkers
make a happy couple

By Tom Waring
Times Staff Writer

Ryan Donlon likes to enter essay-writing contests, having tried over the years to win everything from a Victorian house in Cape May to a ride on the Oscar Mayer Wienermobile.
So, when he penned a 500-word essay for the "MY M&M’s Treasured Moments Challenge," he wasn’t expecting to be a winner.
In fact, he didn’t even tell his fiancee, Jennifer Farina, that he entered until a month later.
"I told her, ‘There’s a chance, just a chance, that we’re going to win thirty-one-thousand dollars for not talking for a month,’ " he said.
The contest was sponsored by MY M&M’s, which are custom-made candies available online.
The company invited creative and affectionate couples to explain why they should be chosen to communicate for a month using only words or phrases on MY M&M’s. For every day that the couple remained silent, they would win $1,000.
Donlon and Farina, who are both 27 and live in Bustleton, met in 2000. He was a waiter at the Pizzeria Uno on Grant Avenue and one night served Farina and a friend. He flirted with the girls before leaving a comment card. Farina filled out the card, including her phone number, and Donlon wasted no time calling her.
By spring 2006, Farina was president of the student government association and captain of the cheerleading team at Penn State-Abington and was looking forward to her spring formal. Donlon, who had been saving for an engagement ring, thought it would be a perfect time to pop the question.
Before the party, Donlon proposed, and Farina accepted. He then surprised her in the ballroom, filling martini glasses with white, pink and red MY M&M’s that read, "Marry Me? 4/29" and "Jen and Ryan."
In his essay, Donlon told that story and explained that he and Farina would be great for the contest because they communicated through text messages and short e-mails for two years while he was at Kutztown University.
About 300 couples entered the contest, and Donlon and Farina were named one of three finalists based on the essays. After a conference call with company officials, they were chosen as the winner.
They were overjoyed, having experienced sticker shock when pricing a traditional wedding.
"What a great way to pay for a wedding," Donlon said.
The winning couple — he’s an Archbishop Ryan High School graduate; she went to George Washington — vowed to stay silent every day to claim the maximum prize of $31,000 (minus taxes).
"We’re going for the thirty-one. There’s no way around it," Farina said.
The challenge began on June 26 when author, syndicated columnist and relationship expert Barton Goldsmith held a "vow of silence" ceremony outside City Hall.
MY M&M’s sent the couple more than 10,000 little pieces of candy. They came in 22 colors and featured 319 words or phrases.
The words and phrases included familiar ones such as "Love you," "fun," "OK," "Thank you," "Sorry" and "sad."
Some of the candies included rather obscure words requested by the couple. For instance, Farina has a brother named "Sabatino" and a grandmother called "Puddin." And Donlon always replies "applesauce" whenever his fiancee says she loves him.
The company would have allowed the couple to talk in an emergency, but otherwise they were not allowed to communicate verbally or in written form. That meant no e-mails, text messages, charades, hand signals or sign language with each other or through a third party. They were allowed to talk to other people.
As a way of verifying that the couple were staying silent, the company installed four advanced motion sensor cameras in the living room, dining room and kitchen.
To make things easier, Donlon put foam in two empty picture frames and drilled round holes so the pair could give each other messages. He also placed the candies with the most used words and phrases in alphabetical order in plastic containers with compartments.
The frames and containers sat on the kitchen counter.
Each day, Donlon would leave Farina a message before going to his job as a marketing database analyst. Before Farina went to work as a planner for the World Council of Optometry, she’d leave a message for him to find when he returned home.
Then, they somehow ate a meal without saying a word.
"We’d M&M with each other over dinner," Donlon said.
Then, they’d watch television or a movie or do chores, all while remaining silent.
During the challenge, the couple canceled a weeklong vacation at the Jersey shore because they figured it wouldn’t be much fun being unable to talk. They also had to remain tight-lipped at a wedding and a July 4 picnic. And Donlon couldn’t sing Happy Birthday when his fiancee turned 27.
When they went out together, they would bring along all the letters of the alphabet and frequently used words such as "yes," "no," "what?" and "smile" in a Tupperware container.
In a way, the challenge was difficult.
"It’s frustrating because it feels like we’re mad at each other," Farina said. "I feel like I’m ignoring him."
At the same time, the couple knew that the $31,000 would go a long way toward paying for a wedding.
"We’d use duct tape if we had to," Farina said.
On July 26, MY M&M’s presented the couple with an oversized check for $31,000 during a gala ceremony at Franklin Square, at Sixth and Race streets. They also won a weekend trip to New York, a tour of the MY M&M’s factory and a house party.
Charmaine Jones, the "Cake Diva" who has baked for everyone from Jay Leno to Michael Jordan, made a cake decorated with giant-shaped M&M’s. The crowd joined in a cider toast.
The first words from Donlon to Farina were, "Have you seen my brown shoes?" She informed him about the significance of Oct. 11, 2008 — they’re getting married at the Abington Art Center.
"It’s a relief that it’s over, but it was an exciting experience," Farina said. "I’m looking forward to talking about the plans for the wedding." ••
Reporter Tom Waring can be reached at 215-354-3034 or twaring@phillynews.com